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I am a 29 year old college student hailing from Albuquerque, NM.

10 September 2011

Hope for the future.

DISCLAIMER: To any family members who may be reading this: I can discuss my life if I want to. If you don't like it, then don't read this shit. Period. While the norm is that I normally don't reveal personal information online, I feel like making an exception this time around. Don't waste your time or my patience starting shit with me about it.

11 August 2011

Debtmageddon

This video is great.



09 August 2011

Monitized Videos?

Last week I received an invitation from YouTube to monitize my videos. It was a bit of a surprise because I do not get anywhere near the number of views I thought necessary to do so. As an indication, last Friday I posted a video titled "Video Ideas for Jacob Spinney." As of right now, at 12:46 Sunday night/Monday morning it has gained a grand total of 15 views and 2 comments.

I do not know if my upload of Keith Olbermann's Special Comment had anything to do with it. It has garnered 467 views as of this moment. That's still not much, but it wasn't until after that video that I got the invitation from YouTube.

My video with the most views is titled "James Randi admits he's gay" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUj_cyvPwkA) -- as of this moment it has over 2,000 views. That's still less than what Coughlan or thunderf00t get in 2 days when they put up vids on their main channels.

As of right now I am deciding whether or not to go through all of my videos and decide on a case by case basis which ones I should try to monetize. I have already decided -- if I go ahead on this -- to only (at least for now) put in videos for monitzing which only have my own content on it. Even if I use another user's content under "Fair Use," which means I should not get a DMCA for it, YouTube can still say they won't approve of ads. YouTube's Adsense policy is not DMCA-linked; they can choose to only share ads on videos from people who dress up as pirates in their videos if they so choose. So I am erring on the side of caution for now until I know for sure what I can and cannot get away with. If anyone has any insight on this, by all means comment below; I would love to hear wisdom on this.

I have also gone onto Google Adsense's site and blocked a few types of ads. The types of ads I have censored from appearing on YouTube (and by extension, this blog, since Adsense is enabled here as well) are for products and services I personally oppose. I am a skeptic, which means I have a problem with any ad that promotes anything related to such things as "get rich quick" (which is an actual category Adsense lists), homeopathy, "alternative" medicine, religion, etc. Legit medicines are OK, however.

For example, a pill which promises a bigger manhood is a no-no, since the treatments offered for that are not proven and no known method for doing so has been proven to the medical community in peer reviewed scientific journals. Viagra, on the other hand, has been proven to do what it claims, so their ads can stay. I could careless about the sexual nature of the ad (Playboy could advertise on my site for all I care) but as a skeptic I will not sit idly by and make money from unproven scammers. That being said, if anyone happens to come across such an ad either here or on my YouTube vids, screenshot it and send it to me -- I want to know.

I must wrap this up. I admit that being invited to monitize my videos was unexpected; however, now that the invitation has been extended, I feel a bit more motivated to produce more content. I am going to set a target of at least one blog post per week and two videos on YT per week.

24 May 2011

what if dreams came true and you could do anything you wanted, would you still give a shit about anyone else?

Yes I would care about others. Humans are not born like snakes and turtles; fresh out the egg they know how to care and feed themselves. We instead need to band together, in all things, to an extent. If my dreams came true I would remind myself that they would not have come true without others, and also that other people have it far worse off than I do. This is why I hate it when the rich simply expect everyone else to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" instead of understanding that humanity has never survived without some degree of cooperation and sacrifice for others.

Ask me whatever...

cna uyo raed stfuf wehn ist put liek tihs? fi yuo acn sned it on ot all yuor fllowers ot suorppt poepel whit dsyleixa.

This isn't dyslexia, or even being drunk. It represents a shitty understanding of English.

Ask me whatever...

you just woke up next to me, using three words only what would you say to me? ask your followers and be a good sport, play along. ;)

"I guess I am gay after all..."

Ask me whatever...

If you wrote your autobiography, what would the title be?

"My Life, and the Lessons Learned."

Ask me whatever...

12 April 2011

What do you do when you can't sleep

I sleep during the day since I work graveyard, but when I cannot sleep I just acknowledge it and try to find something else to do.

Ask me whatever...

19 March 2011

What do you think about formspring.me so far?

We'll see how long this lasts.

Ask me whatever...

Who's your favorite musician?

I have three favorite bands, actually: Whitesnake, Areosmith and Disturbed. All three are #1 in my book.

Ask me whatever...

What's your favorite genre of music?

I am a certified, bona fide Rock Hound.

Ask me whatever...

If you could only listen to one song for the next month, which would it be?

The problem with one song in my head is that I get sick of having it stuck in my head after less than 1 day.

Ask me whatever...

Do you believe in fate?

Yes, but the outside world is only part of the equation. You are other part.

Ask me whatever...

Are you better at using your brain or your brawn?

Brain.

Ask me whatever...

27 November 2010

Haven't been feeling up to a whole lot.

Looking over my YouTube account, it has dawned on me that there hasn't been anywhere near as much raw content lately. Some NFL picks, and even then for the last two weeks I haven't been up for it.

And it was awhile until I figured out what it was.

Ever since I was in elementary school, I have battled depression. I won't go into the reasons why, because not only would that reveal more personal information than I care to reveal here, but after all these years, the "original cause" is not longer the modern day problem. The modern problem is that lifelong depression is self-sustaining.

And when it is lifelong, it ends up affecting just about every part of your life -- work, relationships, school, personal self-concept, etc. from the grandest scales (What am I going to do with my life?) to the minutiae (I don't want to get out of bed).

Family members and friends often do not get it. They either live in denial (he just gets that way) or they have misconceptions. One of the worst misconceptions is the idea that depression simply makes one want to go off in a corner and cry. Wrong. While I am on that tangent, I want to explain something. And I want people to know that not everyone who suffers from depression will agree with me, since depression can affect different people in other ways. But I can map out how it affects me, with the hope to find others who may or may not have had the same experiences.

When I get down, I "shut down." That is, I don't go out, I don't return phone calls, I don't feel like talking much, I don't want to do schoolwork, I end up sometimes having to force myself out of bed after hours of sleeping in. What is happening is that I don't want to "feel." It is a coping mechanism. It enables me to go through the motions without having to acknowledge there's a problem.

But there are side effects. One side effect is that with the loss of emotion, there is a loss of willpower and energy. This is where a lot of friends and family members get hung up. "Why don't they just get up and do something to feel better?" or "If they were really depressed, they'd go into a corner and cry -- I think he's just being an asshole to others to get sympathy and attention" often go through their heads. What they do not realize is that when depression is that deeply ingrained, it ends up happening so automatically and so seamlessly that the person can go days or even weeks before it dawns on him that he is missing out. It can take even longer to figure out why or how the person got depressed in the first place (and truth be told, there can be multiple factors in any given episode).

In my case, I have a lot of be happy about. I now have a college degree (first in my family in generations to do that outside the military), I am in university, I am financially secure (hasn't always been the case), I bought a new car (well, new for me) after years of not being able to afford one, I have family and even pets who love me to death back. I've definitely had it worse than that in the past.

But something was bothering me, and because it was so automatic, it took a while before it dawned on me what it was. Believe it or not, this time, it's because I turned 30.

I have missed out on a lot of things other people take for granted. I won't go into extended detail, because it would reveal far more personal information than I care to put up on an Internet blog. (Poverty had a lot to do with it, but there are many reasons.) As I would walk UNM's halls and see 18 and 19 year old kids who have it much better than I do, and always have, it slowly ate away. One thing that surprised me about UNM is that I thought I would see more "working class" folks like the ones I saw at community college. I fit in with that crowd a hell of a lot more than the barely legal crowd. (Especially since supposedly 60% of UNM's students supposedly come from out of state -- which would (and one would think should) mean that there are more spots in classes for the working class crowd.) But I can count on one hand the number of those I have found around campus. Not to say I face significant rejection, just isolation. Add the cold reality that your 20s are over... and it can be a bit much to bear. Especially for someone who's introverted like me.

And it usually doesn't dawn on me until I look back and see the effects of it. In this case, it had to do with seeing my YouTube output over the last few months. While it is of course OK to take a break from YT (and as I type this, I should note that a break may be necessary for me as I go into December, and therefore, finals and Spring registration, and Christmas, and all that good stuff), what has happened to my YT channel over the last few months wasn't a break. It was a shutdown, except for football. And even then, I admit I haven't even watched a lot of football -- which will shock the shit out of any family members who read this.

So if it seems as though I haven't been as active as usual on YouTube, it's because I haven't been as active as usual in other areas of my life. I have largely gotten away with it at school because right now between my classes I only have one assignment per week combined for them (and the occasional test). If I had more "study-intensive" courses (such as heavy maths or History) I probably would not have gotten away with it since I usually type my one assignment (a 500 word essay on a newspaper headline) a few hours before it is due every week. I've been getting away with an easy schedule. To use a football analogy, I'm like the 2001 Chicago Bears -- an easy schedule made for artificially higher results (they went 13-3 that year on one of these easiest schedules in recent times). If I am not careful, then like the 2001 Bears, I could easily flop next time around with a heavier schedule. For reference, the following year (2002) the Bears went 4-12.

I might as well also look a bit on the bright side. Taking it easy this term was good for me to get my bearings at the university level -- the huge classes, the number of events going on, etc. just as an easy schedule for a football team can allow them to learn what works and what doesn't. But the last thing you want is to take it for granted -- that's when you end up becoming complacent and too "used to" having it easy. Lots of Heisman trophy winners have gone on to be busts in the NFL (to continue the football analogy).

So I have decided to come out by admitting this here on my blog. And as a remedy to this, I think making a few move substantive videos than just NFL picks might do the trick. And in case anyone is reading this, no, I do not take medicine for my depression. Some time back, I was prescribed Prozac for it. And even though I am a big guy (275 pounds) and the dosage was small (only 10 milligrams) it put me on my ass. I was sleeping upwards of 20 hours a day, missing classes and often being late for work, and even then often sleeping through both. After a few weeks of that, I flushed the remaining pills down the toilet. The worst part about it is that I have heard and read about people taking dosages five times my amount. How they do it is beyond me. And I have not gone back to meds since. Not that meds are bad, just not for me. (Well, Prozac is not for me. I'd be willing to try something else, maybe.) But I digress.

So what am I going to do to fire myself up back into full mode? As the holiday season comes into play, there's a few things I want to do. One thing is to create a "Tree of Knowledge" in my home. A "tree of knowledge" for those unaware, is when atheists such as myself take a Christmas tree and cover it with atheist tracts and laminated covers of books written by atheists and skeptics. Sounds silly to those who are not atheists, but actually it can be done tastefully and look good.

Here's links to some examples:

1. http://tinyurl.com/2csn4dh
2. http://tinyurl.com/2fkwpod
3. http://friendlyatheist.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/treecloseup.jpg

In my case, I won't be using laminated book covers, since my tree is going to be a small one on my table. Instead, I'll just be using tracts. I've already ordered some from the Freedom From Religion Foundation -- a pack of 13 is only $4! That'll be plenty to put up on my tree... in fact, I may order more than one pack to have some to pass out.

I also recently saw HowTheWorldWorks' latest video titled "What $200,000 in Student Debt Looks Like." In it he slams a college grad for several things: being that much in debt, studying abroad, her major (because he thinks it made her a liberal), and for e-begging on a website to pay it off. Yes, folks, HTWW gets on someone's case for e-begging when he did it himself for a new camera just a few months back. And that's not all. He also jumps on Obama's ass for not nuking North Korea already, slams green jobs, smears health care reform, and even talks about Park 51, the supposed "Ground Zero Mosque" which is neither at Ground Zero nor is it a mosque. Oh how I want to rip into him for that. I'm already working on it as I type this.

I've also thought about doing a small time series on the Bible's stories regarding Jesus' birth and early life, exposing why we atheists have problems with the Jesus Story.

Also, I have thought about doing a Blogroll. Haven't done one in a while.

So there's my plan for about the next week or so. I may decide to do some other videos, we'll see. But this gives me a bit of a start.

So take care, everyone, as always, skeptics until the day we die, and party hard.

~Infidel

19 September 2010

NFL Week 2 predictions!



From last week:

(WIN) indicate my winning picks.
(true) in front denotes the ones I got right.

Games for last week:

(true) Minnesota at New Orleans (WIN)
(true) Cleveland at Tampa Bay (WIN)
(true) Miami (WIN)at Buffalo
(true) Cincinnati at New England (WIN)
Indianapolis (WIN) at Houston
(true) Denver at Jacksonville (WIN)
Atlanta (WIN) at Pittsburgh
Oakland (WIN)at Tennessee
(true) Carolina at NY Giants (WIN)
(true) Detroit at Chicago (WIN)
(true) Arizona (WIN)at St. Louis
Green Bay at Philadelphia (WIN)
San Francisco (WIN) at Seattle
Dallas (WIN) at Washington
(true) Baltimore (WIN) at NY Jets
San Diego (WIN) at Kansas City

Week 1 record: 9/16 56.25%
Season record: 9/16 56.25%

My picks for Week 2:

1. Buffalo at Green Bay (WIN)
Green Bay's got an injury bug and that spells trouble down the road, especially losing two-time 1200-yard rusher Ryan Grant for the year. But it shouldn't matter against Buffalo. Even though Buffalo didn't do all that bad against Miami last week, they still lost and have no shot at saving Trent Edwards when going up against Green Bay.

2. Baltimore (WIN) at Cincinnati
It's wasn't supposed to be trendy to pick Cincinnati to start 0-2. But that crap performance against New England plays against them here.

3. Pittsburgh at Tennessee (WIN)
Either side could win this one, even though it may boil down to which team can't exploit the other's weakness. Who will outfire the other: Dixon/Mendenhall or Young/CJ2K? And how will both defenses respond?

4. Chicago at Dallas (WIN)
Both of these teams could easily have opposite records, since neither one play particularly well last week. However, Dallas has a bit of an excuse, since they played Washington, while Chicago barely won at Detroit. Especially when one considers that Cutler's 372 yard passing game against Detroit's defense was mostly on screen passes.

5. Philadelphia (WIN) at Detroit
Giving Vick the start was the right move to let Kolb heal. This game should feel like preseason, especially since Stafford's out for a while.

6. Tampa Bay (WIN) at Carolina
Tampa Bay didn't let that deficit bring them down, but since they were playing Cleveland, the comeback doesn't mean much. Regardless of whether or not Matt Moore plays the whole game(expected to start, but not confirmed due to concussion), Carolina has no chance. They gave up 5 turnovers to the Giants and as a result that game could have been worse if it hadn't been for 3 picks.

7. Arizona at Atlanta (WIN)
Neither of these teams can put up much. What's Arizona's excuse for allowing St. Louis to stay in the game for as long as it did? Also, Atlanta got into the same bad habits on 3rd down (only 6/16 for 36%, atrocious.).

8. Kansas City (WIN) at Cleveland
San Diego may have a habit of starting out slowly in the early season, but that was still a hell of a win for Kansas City. Offensively, Kansas City only passed for 68 yards and didn't even gain 200 yards of offense, because if you hadn't noticed, they basically won on special teams, field position, RB Jamaal Charles and of course that goal-line stand. Now they get a softie this week at Cleveland.

9. Miami at Minnesota (WIN)
Minnesota is struggling on offense (especially at WR) but now they're facing a Miami team that barely beat Buffalo last week. That will give them a chance to start 1-1 and be on more stable footing.

10. Seattle (WIN) at Denver
It's really hard to gauge what Seattle's win over San Francisco means, or even if it will mean anything down the road. Denver's performance against Jacksonville is, ironically, in the same category, since Jacksonville is a much tougher team than the Niners. This game will be a big test for both of these teams.

11. St. Louis (WIN) at Oakland
Another hard game to call, but for all of the wrong reasons. I must give the edge to St. Louis for one reason -- Oakland's cardboard-cutout run defense won't stop Steven Jackson. Other than that, god how these two teams suck.

12. Houston at Washington (WIN)
This could be the Game of the Week. However, McNabb, Portis, and Haynesworth are all listed as questionable for this game, and even if all of them play, they will need to play better than last week to outplay Mario Williams, Arian Foster and Andre Johnson. 13 points might beat Dallas but it won't beat Houston.

13. Jacksonville at San Diego (WIN)
A valid question about San Diego's loss to the Chiefs was whether or not WR Jackson would have made the difference. Tis a shame he's suspended, since Jacksonville struggled against the pass vs. Denver. How San Diego can stop Maurice Jones-Drew may hinge on whether or not Merriman (probable -- Achilles ) can play.

14. New England (WIN) at New York Jets
Tom Brady and co. looked Super-Bowl caliber against Cincinnati. Now comes a chance to get some sweet revenge against the trash-talking Jets. Something tells me this game may be even more lopsided than the game against Cincinnati.

15. NY Giants at Indianapolis (WIN)
Here comes "Manning Bowl II." The Giants defense saved them against Carolina, but they will probably have to use the run to save them from Indy. Plus, it's hard to imagine Peyton and the Colts dropping to 0-2.

16. New Orleans (WIN) at San Francisco
How hard can this game be to pick? Hmm… Drew Brees has never lost to the Niners, the Niners gave up 28 points in 7 minutes to Seattle, converted only 1 third down, have lost the last 5 matchups with the Saints, Frank Gore (who averages about 150 yards per game against Seattle in the past) only got 38 yards on 17 carries, Alex Smith played likes he always does (like shit) and blamed the play-calling for it, umm… yeah. I'm not looking for an upset here against the defending Super Bowl champs.